Sacred Union, Divine Union

Time for true healing! Healing of women and men, and the Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine that we both represent within our different embodiments, we come from the same source and have the same Essence. Time to honour the Sacred Union of men and women. And to balance that Divine Union within ourselves.

I have been searching wether to share my #metoo-stories… and if so, how. The huge ones which created a lot of trauma in my life, the repetitions in different situations and all the seemingly small – but impactful – little daily life moments, embodied in behaviours and jokes that we seem to find so normal but are in fact extremely destructive. Because it makes us close down to each other as men and women.

It’s a not only about the many personal experiences, it’s a collection thing. And the #metoo-movement showed the vastness of it. It’s infecting also the ones who didn’t personally experience abuse situations but shut down and protect themselves anyway. It is throughput our history and it still vividly lives in our culture nowadays, disabling us to be in true contact on a deeper level… because there is fear, pain and misunderstandings. In all of us.
And we don’t yet acknowledge it. So I definitely saw the value of the huge wave of #metoo-stories that my sisters shared, showing the enormous impact on our lives of something that is sooooo big yet still mainly hidden and surrounded with taboos. The sharing of all the stories was finally opening up a space to at least talk about it together and embrace our pain out in the open.

Up to this moment I didn’t share any of it, though my #metoo-past is an important source from where I do my work with women. And with men! I didn’t share because the #metoo-movement also created something that I did not want to be part of nor contribute to anymore. I am done blaming and victimising men. Because by doing so, I created a lot more harm. And I see it happening around me all the time.

Women, we have No Idea what WE create in men too! We carry our sexual abuse pasts with us, get stuck in it and let it infect all new relationships. Because our trauma is deep in our bodily cells it tends manifests itself in our most precious moments with our partners (men and women). Not only in the big evil outside world, but also and even more so when we are intimately touched in a loving way. We can’t receive it, start withdrawing, closing down, shutting off, checking out… ruining not only our experience but that of the other as well. Hurt as we are we start protecting, projecting and blaming them for what we feel. We infect fully harmless men with our pain and fears, spreading this contagious disease and let it completely ruin our relationships. Sometimes one after the other, over and over again.

I have been working with men, in rituals but also in a retreat only for men, the Male Wisdom Retreat, because I saw the importance of sharing the Womb Wisdom of the Sacred Feminine with men, from a female point of view. And also listening to the men. Together trying to find out how they can find back the Sacred Masculine. They have no idea!! Many men are completely lost, since old patterns of behaviour obviously don’t work anymore and new ones are confusing, frustrating, making them castrated pussies who try to be soft and caring for the women and next thing they know is being blamed for not having balls. I have been hearing their stories, seeing their pain, feeling their longing for true contact and intimacy which is so often mistaken for ‘sneaky ways to only wanting sex’ in the end after all, that’s what it always comes down to. They shared their personal and collective pain and fear for women: that no matter how careful and how loving they are, there will always come this moment that the woman becomes the victim – which puts them in the role of offender…

It is so delicate to share about this, since the truth is that many women ARE deeply hurt and traumatised by the behaviour of men. I am one of them. And it is important that this is taken serious by men and women and that we can speak about it and heal it, instead of shutting down or ‘having to get over it’.
But there is also many men in the same situation, unacceptable behavior and abuse does not only happen to women. And – and this is the difficult part that I try to share – the men are victims of this system too. Wether they have been abused themselves or even when they have been the abusive ones. Sometimes out of frustration, sometimes because they didn’t know better and often not even realising that they were…. It’s bigger than all of us. We are all victims of something that has to be healed collectively. Here we need understanding and mildness and compassion for all of us stuck in a time and space where we collectively got lost and don’t understand each other anymore.

I didn’t share my #metop-story because I stopped behaving as a victim. Yes, I have been hurt and traumatised. No, it definitely wasn’t my fault. But this was then and all the impact in my life was me dragging it with me into every new situation. Though fully unconscious, I was the one creating it over and over again. And now I am trying to take full responsibility in my life for what I create, inside and outside of me. And as long as I felt being the victim (of my abuse past, of my severe illness that I struggled with for over 25 years or whatever that I felt was blocking my stream of life) I was completely powerless. Being a victim took all the life force and vigor out of me… because we ‘couldn’t help it’. What if I could? What if we can…?

So I feel the solution is not in recognising that we are all victims but healing, changing our behaviour, in creating something different. Together.

The #metoo movement created a lot of awareness of the massive abuse in women, which is good. And now we need a fresh new wave to honour and embrace the #divinemasculine. And not only honouring the Sacred Masculine but also the men of flesh and blood. And LET THEM honour us as the Goddesses we are. I am so happy that I heard more and more sisters say the same. We are simply voicing the deep and longing call of the collective feminine.

My answer to this whole story is to bring my and our share in creating a #DivineUnion. Let’s get together to see, hear, feel, honour and celebrate each other!! Together with my beloved Hans Karssen I will facilitate two retreats for Men and Women, bringing together the teachings of the ‘Womb Wisdom’ and ‘Male Wisdom’ retreats and the ‘Sacred Union Rituals’ that we did in the past, in a beautiful safe womb for all of us.

The Sacred Union Retreat will be four days of finding our core essence as women and men, honouring the essence of each other, healing ceremonies with space for enquiry to find understanding, deeply uniting Tantra meditations and many moments of joy, juiciness and celebration. On the beautiful Hof van Axen in Witteveen.

So if this resonates with you, save the dates, the events will come up soon:

– Sacred Union Retreat 29th of May till the 1st of June 2018

– Divine Union Retreat 15th till 18th of November 2018

Through Love we transcend.
Through Love we heal.

Love,
Deva Yama

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